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Sorry to break your hearts, strong guys, but I got a man now. He is in immaculate shape. He can squat 350. He shaves all of his body hair on a nightly basis. He can do a full split with minimal effort and he hasn't eaten a carb since early 2019. Best of all, my man isn't the jealous type. If I want to have a three-way, we both jump on Tinder to look for recruits. He's into Hispanic bad boys. Golly, I adore him. -ZL
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'Welcome to Miami, bitch' is what Will actually told Chris right before his infamous slap. And now I understand. Miami plays by its own rules. It is in America, but barely. Surprisingly, this was my first time shooting in the city. Kelsey was around and finally without those cursed lash extensions, so I said let's go! The guy on the rooftop is a random onlooker who wouldn't give us our privacy. He wanted Kelsey's number, but when he couldn't get that, he solicited us for weed. Sorry, my guy. Stay tenacious.
If you want to witness the decline of the American Empire first-hand, go visit a shopping mall or a retail box store today. These places are not long for this world. The veneer of consumerist bliss is now showing major cracks. As a celebrationcommemoration, Lila Love tried baring her crack for us at a local Target. This girl is adorable and her fake name suits her perfectly. She constantly looks like she's falling in love.
"Our contributor, Anthony, is back with Lady Noire in Portland. The pair went to the botanical garden and got exquisite photos of ducks and flowers. Noire forgot to wear underwear but I can't fault her for that. They would have been awkwardly visible under her tight beige dress. We wouldn't want that. The list of things to be thankful for grows everyday. Don't get stuck bitching about life."
I am finally on the mend from COVID. I bet I transmitted it last week from that goddamn senior citizen who delivered my food without a mask. Or maybe it was from one of the rotten children who play care-fee at the park where I perform my Tai Chi. Sure, I always wear double N95's but nothing is perfect. It befuddles me how many morons out there think it is still 2019. I just wish people were more considerate. But do not worry, gang. I will be back in full swing next week. Already brainstorming new locations for public smut. BTW, I did get a chance to add a bonus video to the update from 3 days ago.
Do you remember Michele James? You know, the sweet girl that I went to that art gallery with in Pittsburgh. Well, she's back and she's lovely. She smiles as if the pool at her gym finally reopened. She smiles as if they stopped printing money like it was actually linked to something of value. She smiles because she lives in a state where you are not required to show proof of vaccination just to eat at Fuddruckers. Michele made me forget about all of life's BS for about five minutes today. And that's gotta be worth something, right? Here at Zishy, I never ask you to like, but if you subscribe, I promise to keep bringing you women who make you smile.
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Zishy is updating its terms of use this October as well. We will no longer allow any donkey punches, ATMs, Ringo Starrs, superherosupervillain fisting, upside down toeholds, or bareback spit roasts. Sorry, guys. On the bright side, I will now accept crypto for payment because fuck banks and credit card companies. Anyways, enjoy this extended final tease of Sofia Orlova. She never revealed her nude body completely to us, but I still think she is magic.
Aurora Zvezda wanted to do some shopping and immediately I thought of Buffalo Exchange in Santa Monica. They buy select used clothes from the public and sell them back at reasonable prices. They also don't seem to mind if you're an attractive female wearing a fairly transparent sweater with nothing underneath. I purchased Aurora a short skirt and top and we decided to put them to use at a local drugstore, commando-style. It didn't take long for the Walgreens' employees to get suspicious. We made our purchase and went back to Aurora's to enjoy some of the Devil's cabbage. But remember, good people don't use marijuana.
My mother has to walk on the other side of the street if she sees a Subway restaurant. The distinct odor that emanates from their doors is noxious to her senses. Skye Blue and I were so hungry, we actually enjoyed our footlongs. And no, we do not support any of Jared's extracurricular activities. We took over a family restroom so that Skye could model her new H&M dress. Looks fine to me.
Sometimes life is simple and wonderful, just like the night shown here in these photos. Grace Onfire came to Los Angeles by way of Philly. She is chasing her dreams like so many others in this city. Fame, fortune, or maybe just some good ol' fun while she's in her twenties. I am happy to be of service. There is still plenty to appreciate in this world, and believe it or not, most of it isn't found on your phone. Stay living.
My absolute almost favorite model is back. This is when Gia Ohmy took me to one of her regular West Palm Beach eateries. We were eventually kicked out, but it was fun while it lasted. Apparently, a strict rule of theirs is to limit the use of the bathroom to one person at a time. Fascists. Anyways, we did enjoy Howley's BLT, minus the lettuce, plus the cheese. Or was it their signature grilled cheese, add bacon and tomato? Hell if I remember. I just know that Gia likes it indulgent and spicy. No complaints here besides her penchant for mendacity.
These were taken back at a time when wearing a napkin on your face was thought to protect you from a highly contagious disease, but once you were sitting and eating, you were safe. We really lost our damn minds, didn't we? Anyways, Greta is welcome every holiday season at Zishy HQ. A bonus video should arrive tomorrow.