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May is here and I must say thank you to all who support my work. This month, I celebrate my daughter's birthday. I don't talk much about my personal life, because in many regards, I am very typical. I have family, I have bills, I tie my shoes the same way you do. So what if I take sexy pictures and worship the Devil? We are practically the same person, you and I. Tipper does not shave off all her body hair. What a weirdo.
Kai Marley and I visited the Bergamot Station in Santa Monica where the art struggle is real. Plenty of overpriced crap mixed in with a few rare gems. I once thought that becoming an artist would be a great way to avoid real work. I just needed to be clever and build hype around myself, then the suckers and the monies would follow. I was partially correct. I now realize that being successful as an artist also requires talent, thought, hard work, and luck, among other things. Don't be fooled by the multitude of shit-art with red dot stickers. No one is buying that garbage.
Lana Lovelace is a spunky young woman from Texas. She is petite, mischievous, and easy on the eyes. When she contacted me about being featured on Zishy, it was a no-brainer. Just like my decision to go to college. Mom always said I needed a degree. So I didn't question it. Eventually, however, my interests led me away from campus before graduating. I decided to start making money over spending it and stressing myself out. Academia made this dog jump through one hoop too many, all whilst holding out an empty hand. Now this dog has to listen to his educated buddies bitch about their stagnant careers, shitty bosses, and a depressing job market. But I don't know anything. I was lucky. Stay in school.
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Half Vietnamese, half Colombian, Contestant 15 is quarantined in South Florida. All the contestants should be up before the end of the weekend. Then you subscribers will have the difficult task of making sure each entry is rated. No slacking!
Every morning I wake up thinking that they found a cure or that it was all just a bad dream. But nope. This shit is real. I am getting older and there is nothing I can do about it. I know we are all in the same boat. Our hair is falling out or turning grey, wrinkles are forming across our faces, and we can only last a mere two and a half hours in bed with incredible women like Regan Budimir. Why is this happening to me? Why do I now require ten painful minutes to recharge instead of the standard five? My word. Is there any hope left? Science, I am in your hands now. Bring me Eternal Spring.
After some deep thought and self reflection, I have decided to retire as a photographer. I give this only 1 or 2 more decades and then that's it. No more Zishing around. Perhaps my announcement seems premature, but I must prepare myself mentally for such an imminent void. I will certainly miss beauties like Eloisa Guerra. I will miss witnessing nerves like hers quickly transform into excitement and enthusiasm. I started this venture just to have fun, but now I do it for money ... and for fun. Fun is definitely more fun when accompanied by money. Don't work too hard. Happy 2020.
Tiffany Drake finally returns. We went to some Chinese joint for noodles and then to a small park in an upscale neighborhood. Tiffany turned the heads of a few lucky gardeners and dogwalkers. I used to love photographing all types of people. But I soon realized that most people make for shit subjects when compared to beautiful young women in their physical prime. You do whatever you want, but I only have so many years with this failing body. I'm gonna soak up as many cheap thrills as possible.
"More teasin' and cheesin' from the adorable Olya Derkach. I have probably tried pickles on pizza before, but it was so non-memorable that I have zero opinion of it. Towards the end of this 7-minute bonus video, Olya explains to our contributor that when she agreed to topless, it only meant that she would be without a top, but always covering her pepper-oh-never mind. I was trying to stick to the pizza theme. Yura learned a valuable lesson, as I have many times, which is that in this business/artform/whatever-you-want-to-call-it, we remain at the mercy of the beautiful woman in front of us. So it goes. I am still grateful, O."

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