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I have been doing this a long time. I know how to push all your buttons. I can predict all your immediate reactions. I know what you are saying in your head. No way. Not possible. Gotta be fake. But nope. You are absolutely wrong, my dude. I made sure to check thoroughly in person. They are not contact lenses. And Vyeta Mustafina's entire face is completely natural. As for the rest of her body, I remain a skeptic. But who knows? She says it's legit. Who cares? In five years, you will be happily married to some A.I. octopus elf in the metaverse.
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Here is the second part of my idyllic morning with Jezebel. There will be a part three that continues in her bedroom, but that will drop much later. Don't worry. It will be worth the wait. And remember, I am always available to photograph your beautiful wild friendloversistercousinmother whenever she is ready to be admired by thousands. Have a great weekend.
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"Here's an extensive throwback to when Liz Jordan and I went to the Alamo during COVID. In a way, it was a major bust since the monument was closed down for renovation. But in all other ways, it was good times. Liz's dress kept flashing her top wherever we went. We almost cared, then we remembered that Texas loves titties."
Kurt Cobain was a pussy. He let us nineties-kids down. The new generation, like the one Vonnie Bean is part of, has a laundry list of profound issues to resolve and with the guidance of mostly talentless heroes. The apocalypse is right around the corner and the kids are still smiling, dancing, and making TikTok videos. They might be idiots, but I still enjoy them more than the idiots my age. The ones whose lives are dictated by mortgages, political affiliations, and favorite sports teams. Today's adults don't want the kids using drugs, making porn, or hurting anyone's feelings. Instead they offer what? Participation Trophies? An endless psychotic nightmare permeated by government surveillance and personalized advertising? Maybe Kurt was onto something. But he still is a pussy. Vonnie took an outdoor leak for the first time in the bonus video.
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It took some doing, but Bea Wolf agreed to venture outside in this dress, which is more like a top that one would wear with shorts or leggings underneath. I showed some mercy and limited the revealing attire to low-traffic locations such as a stranger's front yard. Bea is a pensive sweetie who has her shy moments, but obviously also enjoys tasting life on the wild side. Henry Jerome's Oh, Pretty Woman plays in the bonus video.
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"Daphne Dare invites us into her quiet, pink chambers for this intimate session. Her room is filled with all things girly, including a cat, sewing machine, countless stuffies, a large bottle of coconut rum, and mandatory massage wand. I could tell right away that this was her safe space, its own little world that she doesn't regularly share with just anyone. Thanks, Daphne. Part 2 tomorrow."
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"Our contributor in Colombia has this friend that is super photogenic but was dating this really jealous dickhead who would never share his gf with the internet. Vicky, the contributor, was able to capture these a while back, but had agreed not to use them until Maya's toxic relationship was over. Looks like we are in the clear now. Juan, find someone else to terrorize ... or grow up. My vote is for the latter. Part 2 very soon."
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Comet Nox returns with her old cheerleading uniform from high school. She recently repurposed it as a Halloween costume. I can only hope that this is what the zombie apocalypse will look like. We visit her backyard where Comet kills it on the trampoline. She warned me that excessive bouncing has its affect on her bladder. I don't mind. Maybe others will, but maybe they need to get back in touch with nature.
Contestant 18 is from Texas. She is obviously a natural redhead or has me fooled completely. She admits to having her photographer friend help her with the camera, but I assured her that it was well within the rules. Is it weird that masks are starting to look sexy to me now?
Kelsey Berneray is not typical in any way, but who am I to state the obvious? Her warm smile is a reflection of the joyful personality within. She is kind, friendly, and unassuming. She also has breasts that may have left some of her previous lovers concussed. Hey, no one is perfect. Some fun is worth the CTE.
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I meet so many incredible women when I travel and yet Nika Nikitina still stands out. She is like lighting in a bottle. And just like lighting, she is not easy to photograph. She puts on a blistering pace from the get-go. If you don't know how to operate your camera instinctually, you will be screwed. Lucky for me, I have put in the hours and know little else besides this chase. Chasing beauty--I have surrendered myself to this calling. Will probably be at it until the end, boys. Stay along for the ride.
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WARNING! The man in the header photo of this update is a bonafide killer, as in buzz-killer. I assume he is the manager of this particular Publix supermarket, although we were not shown any official credentials. Guy walked right up to us and rudely asked us to leave the store. This injustice must not go unheard. Sasha was merely exercising her rights to free speech and sexual empowerment. Men like him want to silence the women's movement. Maybe he would like to see Sasha in a burka? Disgusting. Sponsored by Sprouts.
Aria Sky wolfed down the cupcake faster than I had planned. I wanted to get a few more messy shots, maybe a video, but that chocolate goodness was screaming her name. And anyways, this leaves more sploshing ground for Zishy to cover. Since these were taken, Aria has been on hiatus from modeling. I'm not sure where she is or how she is doing, but my invitation for her to return remains open. Drown out the hate, Aria. The world will catch up.
Let us return to Russia with our contributor, Vika, and her modelfriend, Arina Bik. On this cloudy day in Moscow, they take us shopping and out for a bit of adventurous street flashing. Now, perhaps I did jump the gun by investing my life savings into Bitcoin last year. But my children seem bright enough. They should be able to make it through life without expecting a terrific inheritance. Even if Bitcoin's price is in the dumps, it remains the ideal way to transmit monetary value to a person living under a corrupt regime, i.e. everyone living on Earth. Better than nothing.
Back in your life, Zishy returns with new photos of a European beauty. Vlada Romashina had me crushing slugs and getting chewed up by mosquitos in this fertile forest. I love all of nature, especially when it long legs and good network coverage,.
"It has been winter in Argentina for the last few months, but that doesn't mean our contributors there have been in hibernation. Here is another delightful adventure with familiar face, Zoe Aguilar and her new friend, Emma Velazquez. Zoe has had so much fun shooting for us that she talked Emma into joining the team. Which flavor would you pick? Part two on the way."
"Another candid look into one of our contributor productions. We hear Stacy's voice (in Spanish) as you get a 5-minute, fly-on-the-wall view of a Zishy shoot."
"Here is the conclusion of our day with Irina Dyvyn and Bianca Bell. If you enjoy women being comfortable and playful and unpressured, you will probably dig this update. Alina, our contributor, has a talent for making her subjects feel relaxed and willing to be completely candid. Her work brings us along for the ride. After 8 minutes of the 13-minute video, you will only be able to understand the dialog if you speak Russian. Mostly, Bianca talks about her office job, the Russian/Ukranian language issue, and how tech guys are odd. Have a great weekend."
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This is the first time that I hire a female contributor to take two models out for photos. If you recall, we met Rosa and Zaheera last year in their own solo updates. The real life friends gave Zishy a try on a whim and despite what you may think are almost twenty years old--each, not combined! The photographer that shot them solo, Dan, was eviscerated in a freak hot tub accident, so I had Viky travel to their city to continue the magic. More of these Colombian beauties planned.
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I wanted to capture something familiar in Florida, so Eloisa Guerra and her boyfriend took me to Twistee Treat. This dessert chain mixes a substance that resembles ice cream with a flavored paint of your choice. Amazing. A brief rainstorm passed through and had Eloisa dripping momentarily. Our beautiful Cubana was hardly phased. The three of us hopped back into the Fiat and caught the setting sun at a nearby park. Recently, a naked woman that I was photographing asked me what the purpose of my site was. I had to ponder this for a bit. Zishy is the graphic equivalent of romance novels for men.
At some point, we need to tell these assholes, to whom we give a significant part of our paychecks to, that they can all hit the bricks. They fuck with our environment, our health, our safety, our children's futures. They even fuck with our pathetic existence on the goddamn Internet. Not cool, bros. At some point, we need to grow a pair and say enough is enough. They can't come after us all if nobody complies. Death to the broken system. Despite everything, Trista Jakes still has the ability to put a smile on my face. Our move. Let me know when you are ready.
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August is here. Can you believe it? The year flies by when you have a half-dead leader of the free world. He sort of reminds me of the grandpa from Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Just kidding, that guy was cool. He preferred a hammer over drone strikes. Anyways, fuck politics. All I care about is that my family is relatively safe, I can obtain cannabis with ease, and that my life of photographing women, like Tyla Jessop, remains unhampered. Happy Sunday.
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Here are two fabulous women that I went above and beyond to bring to Zishy. Shyla Volbeck, the brunette, is very kind and approachable despite her intimidating beauty. Moon Torrance is ultra-confident in herself and outspoken with her views. Both could work in the seedy underworld of the fashion industry if they were so inclined. Luckily, we can see them be more than mannequins pushing absurdly priced products here at Zishy.
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Is it me or have you noticed that only nutty people make claims that they have been gaslighted? Beware of anyone making such accusations. Here is Chaney Gunn taking me on a hike at dusk near her home in Texas. There was not much available light, but I discovered that not much light is needed to show the undeniable beauty of Chaney. The glasses and red lumberjack pattern remind me of Terry Richardson. Come back, Terry
She is a really nice person and I am a very lucky photographer. Aurora Morgenrote is daring and beautiful. I will have a hard time topping this trip to Italy. I hope Europe bounces back stronger than ever after the pandemic. Stay hopeful, friends.
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Kylie Shay and her partner are pretty goddamn cool. They showed me around downtown Memphis and we ate some burgers... I think. I can't remember. I was distracted by Kylie's amazing features. The waitress that served us caught Kylie's attention, but it turns out Kylie gets shy when it comes to approaching other women. See girls, it's not so easy. Is it? Oh and in case you didn't see, I added a bonus video to Thursday's update of Meleida. Follow me on Twitter to stay up to date with Zishy news. realzishy
This is Julie Bernal from closer to the equator. Her boyfriend hit me up and said that she was a natural eyecatcher and was ready to be admired on Zishy. After seeing some test shots, I said I had the Bitcoin ready to make that happen. So if you have a girlfriend, friend, wife, cousin, sister, or mother like Julie, and you are not hitting me up, that is just outright cruel. Spread the happy. It's only pictures. You still get to enjoy the real thing.
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Up until recently, Noelle Monique was a thin girl with subdued curves. But now she seems eager to appreciate her blooming womanly figure. No, this is not the work of a doctor. This is the result of a healthy diet, good genetics, and a benevolent God. Praise Himeros! Lighten Up by the Beastie Boys is the track in the bonus video.
Erna is another true specimen of female beauty. She has great hips and seems quite hip. I doubt I would have been able to sit with her or her crowd at the high school lunchroom. That's okay. I now have all that I need.
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Someone persistent has been requesting more Korinne Peterjik for the past few months. I totally understand their fascination. Her natural beauty and enthusiasm is palpable. The air in her dorm room felt thick with it. I created a job for myself that justifies visiting a college campus to take nakey photos of lovely young women. Certainly, I am swine, but I am of a genius breed of swine. Or maybe this is all part of Father's Plan.
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Yeah yeah. This was shot in a different time and a different world. When a person's biggest complaint was that the wifi was slow or their train was running late. So in a way, this year has been a good thing. Puts things in perspective. Will make our soft asses a little firmer. I knew smooth-sailing days like this one in Barcelona with Katherine Prerija could not last forever. Stay strong, heroes.
I gotta be honest. I experienced a moment of terror during this photo session. It wasn't when Sylvia Belotti and I were kicked out of a hotel's lobby, of which we were not even guests. It wasn't when Sylvia saw her father's car drive by as she did the splits in her impossibly short denim cut-offs. It was when this woman with the energy of a wildling decided she would jump off a dangerously high platform onto unforgiving concrete ... just cuz. I was certain I would witness a bodily injury. But no, Sylvia continues to impress.
Howdy! Here's a 10 minute long video digest featuring footage from the last three photo updates. I might make a habit of doing videos this way. Let me know what you think. Have a great weekend and don't go rubbing your crotch on a cheese grater. That would hurt. xoxo
"Following up as promised. Scarlett is a real find. Don't think this is the last we see of her."
"Part 2 as promised. Ariel really is incredible. And yes, they are natural. Truth be told, she in the late part of her first trimester. We got hella lucky with the timing of this one. And don't stress, there will be more of Ms. Gossimer. And for those who are stressing about the American presidential election, if the last 4 years have taught me anything, it's that this executive role is entirely superficial. It's similar to how the monarch doesn't actually direct policy in the UK. The shadow government simply does not approve of Trump as a proper spokesperson or feel he is difficult to control. But in the case where they allow him to win, I bet his most avid supporters will be overwhelmingly disappointed, as with any and all politicians."
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Happy Fathers Day, you domesticated savages. I hope this update of Misty Lovelace makes you realize that our time in this dimension is limited. Essentially, I am writing this to nobody. Let's face it, we are all dead people walking our dead dogs, admiring the dead trees. Your countdown has begun. One subtracted from the finite number of breaths that your lungs will ever breath. Another. Get moving. You're not as flexible as you used to be.
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